Codex Deano

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)

Washington , DC June 27, 2011

ASSOCIATED PRESS.  The US Senate is set to pass sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans: The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA).  President Obama said he will sign it as soon as it hits his desk.

The AWNAA is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.


'Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,' said California Senator
Barbara Boxer. 'We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing. We are legalizing another protected class of Americans.'

In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D) and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D) pointed to the success of the
U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance.  Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.

Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement 'warehouse' stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (a whopping 83%).


Under The Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million 'middle man' positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.


Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most inept employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless
worker for every two talented hires.


Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, 'Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?'


'As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,' said Ken Cox, who lost his position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint , Michigan due to his inability to remember 'righty tightey, lefty loosey.'  'This new law should be real good for people like me,' Cox added.  With the passage of this bill, Cox and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.


Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): 'As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.'

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Ten Questions

I’ve always liked watching the show Inside the Actors Studio.  My favorite part is at the end when James Lipton asks his famous Ten Questions.  For those who don’t know, he always asks every guest the same ten questions at the end of each interview.  I find his choice of questions to be very revealing about the guest.  Here’s how I would answer them.

1. What is your favorite word?
Nature

2. What is your least favorite word?
Trapped

3. What turns you on?
People who unknowingly show me what’s been missing in my life, and how to be happier.

4. What turns you off?
Corporate greed, smoking, rudeness and people who disregard the safety, health and welfare of others.

5. What sound do you love?
Sometimes it’s the woods, the birds and the ocean.  Other times I crave the sounds of people having fun and making a ruckus.  I love both…in moderation.

6. What sounds do you hate?
Car horns, nails on a chalkboard and public address systems.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
“Frack” I know it’s not a real curse word, but I feel that I just don’t use it (or hear it) enough.

8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Expedition Guide.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Anything in retail sales.  I did it in college and it always felt like I was stuck going in circles.  It never ended well for me.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
Good job. Now there are some friends and relatives who’ve been waiting a long time to see you.  But hurry up!  You’re going back again real soon.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Those damn CFLs!!!


Most of us have them.  We were told, "It's the responsible thing to do."  And in some ways they were right (whoever "they" might be.)

The little curly-Q bulb that invaded homes in the late 90s was really not a new invention at all.  It's the same thing as those long fluorescent bulbs that have been hanging in offices, stores and businesses for over a generation. The same ones that boys took out of dumpsters and used as light sabers as kids.   Somebody just had the idea to coil them up and put them in our homes. Not as much fun for juvenile males, but still a good idea, sort of.

So, these things contain toxic mercury. WHAT?  THEY DIDN'T TELL US THAT!!!  Well it's been in the long tube fluorescent bulbs forever and they can't take it out.  It's one of the main ingredients that give us that warm charming glow we've become accustom to.  When they tweak the mercury levels you get dimmer lights or a new wavelength that causes headaches.

But how does a CFL "help" the environment if it contains mercury?  It's a simple equation really, but you have to have all the information.  You have to start at the beginning; at the power plants.  I know everyone is talking about nuclear power right now with all of the natural disasters going on, but most of the power generated in the U.S. is still created by coal fired power plants.  The old incandescent light bulb we grew up with requires these power plants to spew out about 8 mg of mercury throughout the bulbs life. On the other hand, the CFL only requires the plant to spew out about 3 mg of mercury during its life time because of its efficiency.  Now add that 3 mg to the 5 mg of mercury the bulb contains internally and you get about the same level of mercury being generated by either bulb.  The difference is now we have the "choice" to recycle the 5 mg inside the bulb.  And there in lies the problem.  Most people don't know how to do that.  Most municipal transfer stations won't accept them.  It cost money to recycle them, and as of January 2008 it's now against Federal law to put them in the trash.  The CFL became popular before the infrastructure was ready for it.

I blame a lot of this on two entities. The first is Walmart.  I don't know if you remember, but way back in 2007 Walmart had its "Million Bulb Challenge."  They wanted to sell a million bulbs that year; and they did. However, they never told their customers, "You can't throw this away."  They provided no guidance on how to dispose of them nor did they provided any resources for the local communities after their Solid Waste Departments were flooded with these things.  It was (and still is) irresponsible marketing. Next I blame celebrities.  That's a stretch I know, but hear me out.  Every night during prime time TV I would see a beautiful celebrity telling all of North America how they could save the world by buying these bulbs.  Again, no mention that it's toxic, no mention that it can't go in the trash and no guidance on what to do with it after it burned out.
What do we do with them?  If you live in New Hampshire, I'm going to tell you.  You have three options, depending on where you live.  Options 1 & 2 should apply to all states.

1) Maybe your transfer station collects them for recycling.  Call your town or city and ask if the transfer station (or recycling center) accepts fluorescent bulbs.  All fluorescent bulbs (CFLs and tubes) fall into a category called Universal Waste (UW.)
UW is defined as  "A hazardous waste that is generated in such great quantity that no municipality could afford to handle it as hazardous waste."   Because of this, EPA has agreed to loosen the requirements of collecting and storing these waste.  Other types of UW include batteries, automotive waste like oil, transmission fluid and anti-freeze, ballast, and any devices that contain mercury (such as switches, thermostats, bulbs and old thermometers.

2) If your town is slacking in their responsibilities, you might want to take your bulbs to a Household Hazardous Waste Collection (HHW) event.  These events are organized by towns, cities and regional planning commissions.  They receive partial funding from the State of NH but all logistics are handled by the organizer. A list of upcoming HHW events in NH can be found at:
http://des.nh.gov/organization/commissioner/p2au/pps/hhwp/index.htm
3) The last option is to find a take-back program.  This will require you to do a little foot-work but might be worth it in the long run.  Many hardware stores will do a "one for one exchange."  That is, if you buy a new bulb from them they will take your old one and recycle it. You can also call your local Lowe's and Home Depot and ask if they participate in a similar program.  A lot of Ace & True Value stores were running a free take-back program with the assistence of a grant from the NH Dept. of Environmental Services until the funding was cut last week. The money is scheduled to be gone as of June 1, 2011.  Thankfully, a few stores have agree to continue funding the program on their own.

If you think I missed anything or if you have any other questions about fluorescent bulbs please let me know.  If your state has a unique solution that I didn't cover I'd love to hear about it.  Thanks!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Two biggest fascinations have joined forces!!!

The two things in this life that never fail to fascinate me are beautiful food and miniaturization.  

As a child I was always amazed at scaled down models with incredible detail.  When on museum field trips I would head right for the model ship section.  The model of the old pilgrim village at the Boston Museum of Science was one of my favorites. Accuracy was everything.

Later in life I started to discover that food preparation could be an art form.  One of my hobbies is making extreme cakes.  If you need an ambulance, a horse saddle or a GPS unit, I can do it.

I never dreamed that someone would one day bring these two amazing worlds together.  But they have!
http://www.etsy.com/shop/PetitPlat

GIVEAWAY!

Check out Sonya's awesome bracelet give away at: http://fishnetshipchecks.blogspot.com/2011/06/announcement-giveaway.html

Smitten Kill

This is "Smitten the Kitten."  

He is a most excellent hunter of rodents and foul beasts.  He shows up on my front steps with gifts every morning.  Last night he brought me something he's never brought home before...a huge dead rat!
Seeing how we do not have a Chinese restaurant within 20 miles of were we live, I'm more than a little curious about where this thing came from.  Anyone missing a dead rat?  Well, it might not have been dead when you lost it.

Interagency Recycling Committee

I Co-chair my Department's Green Team and today I was asked to sit-in on the State's Interagency Recycling Committee, because the two people who usually do it are on vacation today.  I was notified after the meeting started and therefore walked in 18 minutes late. I announced myself and began flipping through paperwork that was not mine and had no apparent order or continuity whatsoever.  The chairman said, "Oh good, you have hand outs."  I just laughed to myself and said, "No, I don't think so."  Despite being a complete catastrophe,  I still managed to somehow procure $6,000 for a pilot project I just found out about a couple days ago.

Lets get this thing started

To blog or not to blog, that is the question.  I have no idea why I'm here other than the fact that I feel the need to. 

I work as an environmental program coordinator, so that will probably be what most of the content is about.  You'd be surprised at how much environmental work is done from behind desks.  It's a shame really, it keeps us out of touch with the outside. 

I also do a lot of (not as much as I'd like) kayaking and hiking.  I think I can squeeze some of that in here too if I should deem any of it interesting enough to share.

So, what does an environmental program coordinator (EPC) do?  The very job discretion of an EPC varies a lot from person to person.  One might be in charge of  coordinating coastal volunteer efforts while another runs an education facility.  Some work in regulatory at the state or federal level and yet others, like me, get to write environmental grant contracts and do a whole bunch of outreach and education geared toward local municipalities.

If you've ever wondered what boring things go on at the administrative level of an environmental agency; stay tuned.