Veterans Day

As an eight year veteran of the U.S. Army I always feel conflicted during Veterans Day.  Whenever I hear about a business that is giving away something free to veterans on November 11th, I never take advantage of it.  My former cohorts go out every year and get their free breakfasts or free movie passes, but not me.  I have an immense feeling of guilt, almost like I'm stealing from those who deserve it more than me.  Those who did more, gave more or even those who never got to come home.  

Some of my earliest memories are of my mother's friends coming back from Vietnam.  As I grew up, I watched them fall apart and turn into old men.   Some couldn't keep a job.  Quite a few got divorced or sabotaged their relationships and almost all were alcoholics.  They clung to each other as if they were the only ones who understood each other.  They never complained or asked for a hand-out.  When they were together they always had a good time and they kept each other from straying "too far" over the line.  It's when they were alone that they got into trouble.  They couldn't deal with the outside world like the rest of society did and therefore spent a lot of time in the police logs and sometimes in the obituaries. I remember at least one suicide.  

If Memorial Day is for honoring the Nation's fallen dead, then it seams (to me) that Veterans Day is for honoring those who came back with only half their lives intact...and that's not me. I'm fine.  My small insignificant sacrifice on Veterans Day, is to not use their sufferings as an excuse to get something for free.  I usually stay home on November 11th and spend time with my wife and kids if possible.  It's the one thing almost all of my mom's friends would have wanted if they could get any part of their lives back.  That's how I choose to honor them.

At the end of this post there is a link.  It is a short film directed by the famous John Houston (The Maltese Falcon, The African Queen) that was banned by the U.S. Government in 1946.  It shows the mental condition of soldiers returning from the European Campaign of WWII.  They used the term “psycho-neurotic” back then.  During Korea it was called “shell-shock” and then “battle fatigue” during Vietnam.  Today we call it “post traumatic stress disorder" or PTSD for short.  Whatever you call it, the politicians and leaders of the 1940s buried as much evidence of it as possible.  Many of these veterans were locked away and hidden from society, instead of being given treatment.  This was all done so that the civilian population wouldn’t have to interact with them. The problem was easier to ignored and deny for the “good of the country.”  The soldiers of that war suffered just as much as the soldiers of today, but society (and Hollywood) would have us think differently.  It’s good to know that the government doesn’t have the same level of censorship as they did back then. 

http://www.theatlantic.com/video/index/248336/

'Bigfoot' Fights Permit Rules In High Court - New Hampshire News Story - WMUR New Hampshire

I don't know why I'm posting this other than the fact that it's just a really weird story.  
'Bigfoot' Fights Permit Rules In High Court - New Hampshire News Story - WMUR New Hampshire

Like Robinson Crusoe...as primative as can be.

Ah the joys of spending a week without power.  If you're my age or older the title of this post should have brought to mind the theme from Gilligan's Island.  That has been the state of my life for the past week or so.   If you’re a fellow New Englander, you know exactly what I’m talking about.  

 It started on Friday October 28^th.  I was aware we were supposed to get some snow, but twelve inches before Halloween is a rare thing.  I took it somewhat seriously, but not really.  I got home from work and did some basic preparation.  This includes bringing in a couple days worth of firewood into the garage, covering the fire-pit with a tarp and bringing in the tiki torches; so long autumn.

At 5 p.m. I discovered we had a leaking furnace.  I started the mop-up and had my “furnace guy” on the phone when the power went out.  The good news was that without electricity, the burner couldn’t fire and therefore the leak problem had solved itself, for now..  The bad news was…well…the power was out.  I was shocked that there was only about a quarter of an inch of snow on the ground at the moment the lights went out.  I thought this was New Hampshire, not Florida. 

We grilled, we ran the wood stove and skipped showers.  My little Coleman camp stove is a late-night life saver.  The kids ran around in the dark with their flashlights as they always do until somebody falls and cries.  At times like these I always hear my mom’s voice, “It’s all fun and games until somebody gets hurt!” and I choose not to regurgitate that line from my childhood.  Instead I just dry the tears and ask, “What did you learn?”  My hope is that it will help the lesson sink-in instead of just being brushed aside.  It doesn’t seam to be working yet, but I’m hopeful.

The next morning revealed about 20 inches of snow, and trees snapped in half everyplace.  It wasn’t the light fluffy stuff either.  This stuff was wet and heavy.  It stuck to the autumn leaves and pulled the trees down with a vengeance.  We lost six trees in our yard alone.  One of them was across the driveway.  It was described by one reported as “absolute tree carnage.” 

My back yard looked like the frozen version of Narnia. If you look at the hand rail on the back deck you can almost get an idea of how much snow we got.

As the day passed (and my shoveling muscles inflamed) it became evident that the power-line situation was really bad.  Electricity wasn’t coming back any time soon and even the local cell towers were not functioning.  I’m also in a town that has no municipal water department and every house has a private water well.  Without electricity those water pumps don’t function.  This means no lights, no stove, no water, no toilets, no phones and no cell phones.  We’ve been through this before (minus the cell phone issue) but only for a couple of days. All the tree damage to the power lines was overwhelming. 

Another blow was dealt when the temperature climbed into the fifties the next day.  The content of my fridge usually survives these outages on my back deck while packed in snow, but not this time.  Over the course of the week we lost over $300 in frozen foods. 

On the second or third night my wife fell asleep in front of the wood stove with the door open and almost burned the house down.  –sigh.

I eventually started lugging in buckets of water from the farm down the road.  They had a generator and were kind enough to let us draw water from the hose in their horse corral.  This allowed us to flush the toilets, wash the out of control stack of dishes and de-funk our bodies.  The wood stove did a good job of heating the water as well as provide us with toast, bacon, eggs, soups, pasta and waffles.

On day five the lights came back on.  Normally this is when I stop to relax, but now I had a leaking furnace to deal with.  Turns out the expansion tank failed; in lay-terms that means $400 . 

I heard on the news today that parts of New Hampshire will not have power until the 11th.  Poor bastards!   I hope everyone’s week was better than mine! 

Wood, wood and more wood!

I think it was around April of this year that I set to work in the 3 acre wood behind my house to clear out all the dead wood.  Since we built the house we have had several good New England storms and the stuff really piled up.  The ice storm of '08, the wind storm of '10, and the hurricane (downgraded to a tropical storm) of '11 just to name a few.

I began the battle armed with my father in-law's tractor, a chainsaw, an axe, a splitting maul and a couple of cast-iron wedges.  I had the use of a log splitter for a couple weeks but that was not meant to last.  I felt like a pioneer from a hundred years ago as I chopped away at the mammoth piles of logs all summer.  I worked under the hot sun...just like my ancestors did.  I dragged logs and stacked everything by hand...just like my ancestors did.  I blasted Natasha Bedingfield from the stereo and drank imported rum...in honor of the horrific injuries my ancestors must have sustained doing this.  It's no wonder people died younger back then!

It was Tuesday October 18th at 6:15 pm in the afternoon that I stacked the very last piece of wood for the year.  I was soooooooooooooooooo happy to be able to lay that project to rest.

Final count was about 10 cords of wood.  That should last about three years in my wood stove depending on how sever or mild the winter is in New Hampshire is this year.

Part of my fire wood project that spanned about six months.  This was taken in early September:

Googl+

So I finally broke down and set up a Google+ account. plus.google.com/102149929136910230015

I only know about six people on there right now and they only check the thing once a week at most.  I'm not sure that I need two social media accounts, but we'll see what the future brings my way in the land of "+1's" and "circles."

The last month...

I'm happy to report that my little girl is doing fine.  Every once in a while she says, "I really miss Scout."  But she has dealt with her feelings and moved on. I'm so proud of her. 

We have have picked up two new kittens recently and they get along fine with our dog, Patch.  But our veteran cat of 8+ years is less than thrilled.  We decided to let my son name the gray one and let my daughter name the tiger one.  They chose the names "Gray" & "Tiger."  It looks like I'm going to have to enroll them in some sort of activity that promotes creative thinking.

Here they are stalking the dog...

Here is Tiger playing with the dog's tail...

Here's poor Patch passed out after entertaining the kittens all day...

In other news, I took second place in my humorous speech contest.  Not bad for my first time out of the gate.  I plan on spending the rest of this year working with a mentor to improve my writing and technique.  See if I can't do better next year.

Work, Speeches and Dying Ponies.

I haven’t blogged in a while.  No excuses; I just haven’t.  I do have a life you know!  A life that’s full.  Between being a scout leader, working, commuting and helping kids with homework I’m a little pressed for time.  My new endeavor is competitive public speaking.  In fact I’m entered to give my first speech tonight, at the club’s annual humorous speech competition.

The sad news is that my daughter’s pony passed away last weekend.  He coliced sometime during the night, my wife had the veterinarian there by 9:30 a.m. but it was too late.  He was a halflinger/Shetland cross and had an awesome temperament.  His name was Scout and he was a GREAT pony.  I was sad that the horse died, but seeing the tears run down my little girl’s face was almost more than I could stand.  I held her in my arms for hours while she sobbed.  It’s a tough lesson that all kids have to learn; I just wish she didn’t have to learn it so soon.  She’s only eight years old.  She spent Sunday night crying and didn’t fall asleep until 2:00 a.m.  Going to school the next day was obviously out of the question.  She’s doing better now and things are kind of back to normal.  I’m just wondering how she’s going to handle the empty stall in the barn when she goes out there this weekend. 

Hurricane Irene

The hurricane is gone and everything is drying out.  We’ve been without power since 10:00 am on Sunday morning and they’re saying one or two more days before it’s on (I’m writing this from work.) 

The preparations were simple:

1)      Fill the tub with water.  This allows us to have water for flushing toilets, washing dishes and eliminating bed-head.

2)      Take down the swings.  You don’t want any metal chains flying around in 60 mph winds.

3)      Flip the picnic table over (that’s where it’s going to end up anyway.)

4)      Take down all the little things like the flag, the hanging plants on the front porch, the hummingbird feeder and bring in the garden gnome.

5)      Do the dishes and laundry.  We have a private well and when the power goes out we have no water.  I hate starting a power outage while I’m already “in the red” so to speak.

6)      Candle and flashlight check.

7)      Get the Coleman stove ready to go.

8)  And of course, get some shelf-stable food and fill a few jugs of drinking water.

9)  Relax and watch the family panic.

It wasn't until late afternoon that I had to make the hardest decision of all: what foods to put in the cooler (on ice) and what foods to let go bad.  I just bought the strawberries and blueberries so those go in the cooler.  The milk is half gone and the jug is huge, let it die.  I did this until the cooler was full.  Goodbye Ah-So sauce.  I always say that losing power in the winter is better than losing it in the summer.  For starters, the windows are already shut and the house doesn’t turn into a stuffy oven when you close them all.  Second, the wood stove heats the house.  Third, I just throw all our food out onto the back deck and pack it in snow.  I’ve never lost any food during a blizzard.  These summer outages just suck!

The kids enjoyed watching the storm.  The trees whipping back and forth, rain coming down in sheets and branches falling from the sky.  My daughter didn't quite get the no electricity thing.  I told her she couldn't watch a DVD on the living room TV because the TV & DVD player won't work without electricity.  She said, "That's OK, I'll just watch it on the other TV."   OK, you go for it.  Let me know how that works out.

The poor dog suffered more than anyone though.  He came downstairs at one point dressed in a pink bathrobe and his head was covered in hair clips.  My daughter really shouldn’t be left alone with animals.  She killed a parrot when she was four.

After the storm was over my cat was very upset about all the branches in the yard and I think he wanted me to go out and pick them up right away.  He looked very stressed and spent an excessive amount of time seeking affection.  I think he needed a kitty Xanax, so I administered a healthy dose of catnip and he was off in another world for most of the afternoon.

By 8:30 pm the kids were tucked into the pull-out bed and my wife was right next to them on the couch.  I headed upstairs and crashed by 9:00.  The rain had stopped, the air was dry and the wind was still blowing at about 20 or 30 mph.  I opened all the windows and it felt like October.  I loved it!  I had the best nights sleep I've had in a very long time.

This morning I had the option to go to work or use a vacation day and stay home.  I believe another day in that house with my wife and kids would have put me in the nut house.  So here I sit eating microwave popcorn and surrounded by the glow of electricity.  Unfortunately I have to leave in a couple hours and return to my primitive shack full of restless natives.  Maybe I'll bring home a wild animal and we'll cook it over a fire in the back yard.

Last Night's Dream!

It was hard to walk; my toes hurt.  I looked down and was shocked to find that my toenails had grown three inches!  I couldn’t find any scissors or nail clippers, and as a result I was forced to rejoin the Army (the one I parted company with in 1997.)  This time my recruitment was a little different.  I didn’t have to go through basic training again and I got to bring plenty of personal items; like real socks instead of those non-stretch, thick, scratchy, green, produced by lowest bidder wool ones.  Any way, I was being trained for a new job.  On my first day I met my instructor.  He was a sergeant, an E-5 for those “in the know” and on the very first day we went on a combat mission.  I was a little concerned because I still didn’t know what the hell my job was or what my training was going to entail.  I showed up with all my gear, body armor, weapons and a small OD green box about the size of a toaster that contained several smaller OD green boxes.  For those who aren’t “in the know,” OD means olive drab.  It’s a universal Army term/acronym used to describe that wonderful color that all veterans love to hate.  As the helicopter lifted off I was seated on the left side by the large sliding door.  There was also a pilot, copilot and another passenger seated to my right.  There were several other helicopters flying on both sides of us but we were the only one flying backwards.  I began to question the pilot’s abilities.  He turned us around right about the same time the explosions started.  They were distant, but I could still feel the concussion resonating through the metal frame of the helicopter.  I looked at our semi-confused aviator and realized that the pilot was my sergeant/instructor who never trained me on what to do with this stupid little box sitting on my lap.  In the real Army, E-5s don’t fly anything, and I seamed to be aware of this in my dream too.  He somehow got us to the objective without crashing and we set down in a dirt field next to some third world houses on the edge of a small city; the kind of small city where the main streets double as open sewers. 

We slid the doors open and the pilot looked back at me and over the sound of the turbine engines yelled “you’re up!”  I must have looked confused because and said, “You’re the expert on the X-99, so use it!” and he pointed at the small OD green box in my lap.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I had just now learned the name of this stupid thing and that I didn’t know if it was used to buff shoes or teleport aliens.  That’s when the woman appeared outside the door of the helicopter.  She was gross to say the least and was walking toward the helicopter at an unsteady pace.  She started to reach into a large bag that she had over her shoulder and when she was about 10 feet from the helicopter she took a bomb out of her bag.  All my military training tells me that I should have grabbed my rifle and turned her into dog-chow, but I didn’t.  I sat there clueless, clutching my X-99 with one hand and reaching over to slide the left-side door shut with the other.  Hey, I didn’t want her to throw that thing inside with me.  Instead, she threw it on top of the helicopter, between the rotor blades and the roof.  I screamed for the pilot to fly straight up in hopes that it would fall off and gravity would take it back to the ground.  We took off and were about 100 feet up and perpendicular with the ground when there was a massive explosion.  We spun around several times and crashed nose first back into the field. 

The pilot and copilot were crushed to death and my cohort to my right was alive but pinned inside and couldn’t move.  I got out but couldn’t find my rifle.  I un-holstered my pistol and started to take aim at the local people surrounding the wreckage.  The guy inside obviously didn’t want to be left out of the assault and started to fire off random insults at the locals.  He yelled, “You're all just pissed 'cause your moms have bigger dicks than you!” and “You bastards are so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside!”  While I appreciated the effort, it didn’t help much and besides, I don’t think they understood English.  He continued his barrage of insults as I began shooting the scariest aggressors.  First, a mother and child that were shooting at me, then a guy on a roof.  There were others moving in and I got surrounded from behind.  I stood up just in time to look down and watch as my chest exploded from behind.  That’s when I woke up.  It was 3:15 in the morning.

Needless to say I was a bit sweaty and wasn’t about to fall back to sleep any time soon.  But when I did, I found myself going into a building to make a huge financial investment. It was a bright and sunny day and when I drove up to the building I thought it was a place where I could buy stock.  When I walked up to the desk inside I asked to buy one million shares of Microsoft stock (talk about a nightmare!)  The people looked at me, tossed me a copy of the Wall Street Journal and went back to their work.  This was apparently a place that only sold investment news papers.  I didn’t want to look like a complete idiot so I took the paper.  I had to pay for the newspaper in the next room which was a restaurant.  There were about twenty people in line and I said, “Screw this!”  But I couldn’t return the paper because I had already left the first room with it.  I went back to the restaurant and took a stroll through their outdoor patio, where I hopped the fence and cut through a garden.  In the garden I saw the coolest thing.  It was a very small (about the size of a soda can) black chihuahua with the head of a Gremlin.  Yeah, a Gremlin, just like in the movie.  It was inside of a gourd and was half done eating it when I grabbed it by the scruff of its neck.  It was vicious!  I suppose I would be too if somebody grabbed me during dinner.  I put it in a Tupperware box that “just happened” to be there and took off for my car.  A guy working in the garden said I couldn’t do that but I took off anyway and by the time I found my car it was pitch black outside.  Weird, seeing how it was like…noontime when I got out of my car.  There was just one obstacle left in my way, two half drunk teenage boys who wanted my gremlin.  I think they worked there because they looked like gardeners.   They approached me as I was getting in my car and started to threaten me.  I grabbed a gallon of rotten milk I kept in my back seat just for emergencies (doesn’t everyone?) and splashed it all over them. I got in my car and tore out of the parking lot just as one of the teenagers who was running along side me unloaded a fire extinguisher into my left ear.  I screamed out the window, “You missed me!” as loud as I could, just so he wouldn't have the satisfaction of not missing me.  I drove for a few minutes and realized I was on the bus route I took to school as a kid.  I followed it even though it goes nowhere near where I live now (not even the same state.)  I looked at my fuel gage.  It was almost on empty. I had lost my wallet.  I had no cash.  The alarm went off just in time to avoid this crisis.

I woke up physically exhausted and starving.  I don’t know what was in last night’s potatoes au gratin but there’s no way in hell I’m eating those leftovers tonight!

Who's to blame?

I have to say, I agree with Mark Cuban 100%
http://www.thepostgame.com/blog/daily-take/201108/did-mark-cuban-predict-market-crash

Why?

So I've had my About.me page for less than one business week and my Twitter page has been bombarded. Unfortunately it's all by fake accounts for porn sites.  I can already see how usefulless this thing is going to be.

Busy, busy, busy!

I'm still spending most of my free time crafting speeches for my Speechcrafters Class.  This Thursday I have to do a three-bullet informative speech about anything I want. I have the floor for three minutes.  I'm going to talk about the infamous "Prince of Nigeria" e-mail scam.  I was delving into the history and immediately found two interesting things. 1) Nigeria is a constitutional democracy and has no monarchy whatsoever.  Odd, since there are about 28 Nigerian princes on LinkedIn right now.  2) This scam used to be a fax machine scam in the '80s and before that it was a letter writing scam and can be traced back to the 1920s!  Who knew?

The bug bites are just about gone. Yaaaaaa!

I normally don't blog about my kids unless it's something interesting, cool or funny.  With that in mind, we took them to an outdoor survival class last weekend.  It was basically a half day class designed to teach them what to do if they get lost in the woods.

All the exercises were about keeping them warm, dry and increasing their chances of getting found.  Here's a picture of my daughter's final test.

She found a high spot (to prevent being flooded in the rain) under a tree (to keep her dry) and made a small bench out of dry leaves and branches to keep her off the cold ground (if it were winter time and not 90 degrees.)  She then blew on her whistle three times (universal sign of distress) every minute until the teacher got there.  GOOD JOB!

We went to a small nature museum, after a picnic lunch, and found this interesting thing:

Can you guess what it is?  I'll put the answer at the bottom of this post.

We stopped at this cool country store.  It was a 200 year old, 3 story barn.  This is what I imagine when I think of a New England country store.  They had home-made onion & peach salsa!

Later that night my wife found this HUGE frog in our garden.  He was there to eat the beetles and he had a reservation.  We let him stay the night.

On Sunday morning my daughter's pony, Scout came out of the closet...

Monday found me back at work and doing a series of environmental inspections through Keen and into Brattleboro, Vermont.

Downtown Brattleboro...

That brings us up to today, which has been filled with speech writing, grant contract amendment writing, customer service voice mails to answer and e-mail questions to reply to.  By this time tomorrow the week will be more than half over.

Oh, and for those who made it all the way to the end...that odd thing in my hand was a tooth from a sperm whale.

About.me

OK, I finally broke down and did one of these.  It feels like shameless self promotion.
http://about.me/deanorobinson

Friday Motivation

Well it's Friday once again and I'm counting the hours, minutes and seconds until I can walk ever so briskly out the of my cubicle, down three flights of stairs, out the lobby, through the parking lot, creep across downtown Concord, merge onto I 93 and dive 40 minutes to get home...to relax.  By relax I mean do the kid's dishes, fold some laundry, cut the lawn, fix three broken screens, maybe stain the back deck and write my next speech for my Speechcrafters class.

It's Friday so I'm just going to dream a little.

Hmmmmmmmmm, if you hit the lottery, what are the first three purchases you would make?

Here's mine:

I'd upgrade my 9 year old car to one of these...

and I'd update my 15 year old kayak to one of these...

and I'd probably move someplace like this...

In fact, if I try really hard, I can see it in my head...

Ah, thank you Friday for another dream to help get me through the afternoon.

Weekend events

I know, I promised that I would post pics on Monday but...I lied.

So I took Friday off and went kayaking.  I chose a tidal river right on the seacoast and these two cute little ducklings (on the concrete ramp) came to give me a send off.

The river was moving at about 6 knots and I paddled against it for about 30 minutes.

Then I stopped and just floated up river with the current, steering the boat only when I needed to.  I went up river several miles and through two towns.  It was very relaxing.  At 11ish I pulled the boat out onto a small island and had lunch.  By 1 pm the tide was all the way in and I was able to paddle home with little effort at all. 

Later that night I invited as many friends as I could to come sit around the fire-pit to drink, eat and swap war stories.  I provided chips while others brought some baked goods.

It's a nice feeling when everybody drives to your house for the night.  It shows that they like spending time with you.  I have good friends.  One of my buddies from high school showed up who I've only seen about three times in the past 20 years. I loved catching up.  We wrapped it up at about 1:30 in the morning and I didn't get out of bed until 10 am the next day.  Totally worth it!

The next day I awoke to find that my ankles and calves had been dined upon my something.  These are the worse bug bites I've ever had.  There are so many it looks like a rash, but it isn't.  They are just 100s of tiny bug bites. I wore socks, shoes and bug spray too!  Itches like hell!  WTF!

That's all I have today.  I have to work on my speech for Speechcrafters.  Thursday is "Ice Breaker" day and I have to come up with a speech to describe myself to all the other people in the class.  I actually have an opening, body and a closing.   I'm doing a practice run in about 30 minutes with a mentor and then I have Wednesday to polish it up.

Wish me luck!

Anyone want to share their weekend experiences?

Skipping School and Giving Speeches

I’ll be playing hooky tomorrow!  It’s amazing how I still get a thrill saying that.  It’s not like I’m in High School and I’m cutting class or anything.  I work in a state office building and I accrued leave time, but it still feels dirty.  All my coworkers will be stuck at their desks while I’m paddling my kayak down a river under the hot sun.  I’ll post some pics on Monday.

In other news I started my first session of Speech-crafters today.  I’ve wanted to join Toastmasters for a looooong time but I just couldn’t fit it into my schedule.  I’ve been doing structured outreach & education for about five years now and this is something I really need to do.  I have to do one public speech every week for five weeks (today didn’t count.)  It’s going to be very educational…and interesting.

Oh, and I'm planning a bonfire for Saturday night.

Question for the Young Ladies...

I have to wonder why most (almost all) people on Blogger are women in their late teens through early 20s.  Do guys really have nothing to say?  As I cycle through the “Next Blog” button I sometimes feel like some intruder peeping into some women's only sorority.  It makes me feel dirty; do I even belong here?  I know the older people in general are too busy working (or they can’t afford electricity due to being laid off) but why is the demographic so skewed? 

In a time where everyone is connected digitally but not physically, do you younger women need the two-way communication blogging provides?  Is communication lacking in your own life?  Is it a creative outlet for some of you?  I’m not demanding answers; I’m simply curious.

I’ve noticed a lot of you speak of being depressed or even suicidal.  I wonder if some of you just want to reach out to anybody who will listen.  Some of you are writers while others are designers or crafters trying to stake your claim in cyberspace.  I admire your efforts, all of you, and I wish you all success. 

Then there are the family blogs.  The only reason I know these blogs exist is because of the whooshing sound they make as they fly past my screen.  I’m not undervaluing families, I have my own and it’s enough for me. I was a stay-at-home dad for the first two years of both my kid’s lives.  It was the most educational experience of my life.  I just can’t imagine anyone logging into my blog to find out what my kids are doing.  My family members on Facebook hardly even notice what I’m posting.  I know it’s exciting being a new parent, but I just don’t get why you would want to post stories about how your 9 month old spit up on Aunt Bessie at the family reunion.  Or why some of you feel the need to post pictures of every skinned knee and boo-boo your 2 year old son gets.  Slow down!  If he’s anything like I was you’ll have plenty of X-rays and emergency room bills to post later in life.

So if anyone should stumble onto this post and actually read it, I’d love to know your thoughts on the subject. Why are women the great communicators on line? 

Thanks.

I'm back...and exhausted!

Well, it's been an interesting couple of weeks.  I spent the 6th through the 9th incredibly sick. I contracted some kind of an infection from a tick bite.  My temperature was between 100 and 102 all week and every muscle in my upper body felt like it had been beaten with an iron pipe.  Between the muscle aches and the night sweats I was only able to get about 2 or 3 hours of sleep per night.  The doctor pulled some blood cultures for West Nile Virus and Eastern Equine Encephalitis and thankfully both came back negative.  I never experienced a headache so the doc said that pretty much ruled out meningitis.  I was given a prescription for an antibiotic that helps fight off Lyme disease and by the morning of the 10th I was feeling fairly normal.  I was completely drained and weak though and had no energy whatsoever.  The 10th was also the day I was supposed to start my vacation, which was actually my rotation as a leader at my son's Scouting Camp.  It was also the morning of my 400 yard camp swim test. 

I had to swim 300 yards doing the breast stroke and then 100 yards doing the back stroke, then tread water for several minutes.  I'm not sure if I spent more energy swimming or trying to prevent my face from contorting into a frightening look of death, but I made it.  I couldn't walk straight for about five minutes after I climbed onto the dock, and I kept yawning (gasping) for air for about 4 hours after I left the swimming area.  My ears also popped (like when you're in high altitude) and I couldn't clear them until the next day. That's when the real fun began.

Our Pack-group consisted of 10 Cub Scouts including two sets of brothers and my son.  Over the next five days we would walk between 25 and 26 miles (according to the GPS) and deal with everything from lost toothbrushes to mild dehydration to sibling rivalry. The 6:15 a.m. wake-up calls were a little harsh in my opinion.  Rain storms are awesome when you're in a tent; not so awesome when it's 95 degrees out at midnight and the humidity is 100%.  My tent was like an oven half the nights I was there and falling asleep in a huge puddle of sweat seemed normal by Thursday.  But the kids had a blast and nobody was injured.  That last part isn't completely true.  One of the scouts cut his finger during a whittling class on day two.  On day three he fell down a paved hill and skinned his knee.  On day four he bit his own finger during lunch.  For a moment I thought maybe he was trying to escape piece by piece.

I arrived home on the 15th and immediately did a lot of smelly laundry.  The past two weeks had been physically and mentally draining, but the next day was going to be the biggest challenge and completely drain me emotionally.  I made a trip up north with my best friend's widow. We kayaked out onto his favorite lake and scattered some of his ashes not far from the rope swing he and I played on as children almost 30 years ago.  We toasted his memory with two bottles of Molson Canadian and shared some stories and memories of the man we both loved so dearly.  Then we drove east and ate a seafood dinner big enough to sink a humpback whale; no regrets.  My friend, Jim and his wife had been together since high school and they were still going strong.  You could see the love they had for each other when they would stare into each others eyes.  It was like the whole world would stop for them.  He was my best friend but he was also my technical adviser on all things electronic, my therapist, my career councilor and my closest link to so many childhood memories.  I hate not being able to call him. But he comes to me in my dreams once in a while and I'm thankful for that.  He passed away just three weeks after his 39th birthday.  I miss him so much.

After I returned home from the lake I fell asleep at 4 p.m. and didn't wake up until 10 am the next day.  I finally had caught up on my sleep.  It's a good thing too.  I had to go back to work the next morning.  I showed up to the office this Monday looking ten times more exhausted than when I had left.

I need a vacation!

Wait, what day is it?

Well I’m back at work and my recovery from the 4th of July weekend is well underway.    I was at work for almost 2 hours this morning before I realized it’s Tuesday.  What?  A four day work week?  I didn’t even think about that, woo hoo!  What a bonus! 

So I rolled my mangled carcass out of bed at 6ish and began the search for all those little items that would get me through the day.   It’s the morning scavenger hunt game that we all play.  Some of us play a little harder than others:

1 Cash, just in case I break down or need an emergency whole-grain bagel…check

2 Access ID badge, forgot the stupid thing last Friday!  Not today!  I found it clipped to the belt I was wearing last Thursday…check

3 Car keys, crap I haven’t seen those things for two days.  When all else fails look in the laundry basket. Ah-ha!  Gotcha!…check 

4 Glasses, you can’t fool me again, I’m wearing those…check 

5 Sunglasses, forgot those last Friday too.  Man, last Friday must have sucked…check 

6 Something for lunch,  Luckily the fridge is full of cook-out leftovers so I didn’t have to really think about this one.  I accidentally bumped the door and a blue lidded glad-ware bowl fell into my hands.  Vegetable soup it is.…check

As usual, I ate my breakfast on the highway.  But today I didn’t wear any of it; another bonus.  I have two breakfast options every morning.  Eat in the car or go hungry.   I always have enough time to make a healthy breakfast at home, but not enough time it seems to eat it too.  I know what you’re thinking…just get up earlier.  Well I’ve tried that and ya know what?  The earlier I get up, the slower I move and I still end up with the same options.  Besides, a bowl full of grapes, apple slices, raisins, chopped walnuts and vanilla yogurt is fairly car-friendly.

It’s going to be in the mid 90’s today so I packed a change of clothes too.  I hate it when my good pants, dress shirt and socks are saturated with sweat.  It’s just not good for anybody. I actually heard a guy complain that I changed cloths in the bathroom once.  Let me tell ya, I spent almost 10 years in the Army and I don't give a damn where anyone changes clothes. As long as it's not in public view obviously.  This guy must have lived a sheltered childhood if that's the kind of thing that offends him.  What a wuss.

I’m scrambling to get things caught up at work for my week off.  It’s not really a week off; I’m volunteering as a camp councilor at a local day/overnight camp.  The kids will range in ages from 6 through 12.  This should be interesting.  It doesn’t feel that long ago when I was the one at summer camp doing all the things campers aren’t supposed to do.  Now I’m supposed to regulate these kids and tell them not to do all the stuff I did.  Seems like a conflict of interest to me.  Didn’t anyone do a thorough background check on me?  Oh well.

Nothing Yet

Well it's been about a week and nobody has subscribed to this blog. It's had over 300 views though.  Hmm, is that normal or does my writing just suck?   I'm not sure what I was expecting but I at least thought I would keep up with the approximately 50 twelve year-olds giving makeup tutorials.  Apparently I was way overconfident.

I've seen people who have been on here for less than a year with over 900 subscribers and I also see people who have been on here for five years and only have 14 subscribers. I guess I still need to find that "hook."

Well I probably won't be on here over the Fourth of July Weekend.  There are celebrations to attend, a birthday party to plan and a bottle of rum with my name written all over it...aarrgg!  Sounds like potential fuel for future writing.

If you happen to stumble onto this blog over the long holiday weekend I wish you the best 4th of July ever.  See (hopefully somebody) when I return on Tuesday.

Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)

Washington , DC June 27, 2011

ASSOCIATED PRESS.  The US Senate is set to pass sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans: The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA).  President Obama said he will sign it as soon as it hits his desk.

The AWNAA is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

'Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,' said California Senator Barbara Boxer. 'We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing. We are legalizing another protected class of Americans.'

In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D) and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D) pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance.  Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.

Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement 'warehouse' stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (a whopping 83%).

Under The Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million 'middle man' positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most inept employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless
worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, 'Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?'

'As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,' said Ken Cox, who lost his position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint , Michigan due to his inability to remember 'righty tightey, lefty loosey.'  'This new law should be real good for people like me,' Cox added.  With the passage of this bill, Cox and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): 'As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.'

Ten Questions

I’ve always liked watching the show Inside the Actors Studio.  My favorite part is at the end when James Lipton asks his famous Ten Questions.  For those who don’t know, he always asks every guest the same ten questions at the end of each interview.  I find his choice of questions to be very revealing about the guest.  Here’s how I would answer them.

1. What is your favorite word?
Nature

2. What is your least favorite word?
Trapped

3. What turns you on?
People who unknowingly show me what’s been missing in my life, and how to be happier.

4. What turns you off?
Corporate greed, smoking, rudeness and people who disregard the safety, health and welfare of others.

5. What sound do you love?
Sometimes it’s the woods, the birds and the ocean.  Other times I crave the sounds of people having fun and making a ruckus.  I love both…in moderation.

6. What sounds do you hate?
Car horns, nails on a chalkboard and public address systems.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
“Frack” I know it’s not a real curse word, but I feel that I just don’t use it (or hear it) enough.

8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Expedition Guide.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Anything in retail sales.  I did it in college and it always felt like I was stuck going in circles.  It never ended well for me.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
Good job. Now there are some friends and relatives who’ve been waiting a long time to see you.  But hurry up!  You’re going back again real soon.

Those damn CFLs!!!

Most of us have them.  We were told, "It's the responsible thing to do."  And in some ways they were right (whoever "they" might be.)

The little curly-Q bulb that invaded homes in the late 90s was really not a new invention at all.  It's the same thing as those long fluorescent bulbs that have been hanging in offices, stores and businesses for over a generation. The same ones that boys took out of dumpsters and used as light sabers as kids.   Somebody just had the idea to coil them up and put them in our homes. Not as much fun for juvenile males, but still a good idea, sort of.

So, these things contain toxic mercury. WHAT?  THEY DIDN'T TELL US THAT!!!  Well it's been in the long tube fluorescent bulbs forever and they can't take it out.  It's one of the main ingredients that give us that warm charming glow we've become accustom to.  When they tweak the mercury levels you get dimmer lights or a new wavelength that causes headaches.

But how does a CFL "help" the environment if it contains mercury?  It's a simple equation really, but you have to have all the information.  You have to start at the beginning; at the power plants.  I know everyone is talking about nuclear power right now with all of the natural disasters going on, but most of the power generated in the U.S. is still created by coal fired power plants.  The old incandescent light bulb we grew up with requires these power plants to spew out about 8 mg of mercury throughout the bulbs life. On the other hand, the CFL only requires the plant to spew out about 3 mg of mercury during its life time because of its efficiency.  Now add that 3 mg to the 5 mg of mercury the bulb contains internally and you get about the same level of mercury being generated by either bulb.  The difference is now we have the "choice" to recycle the 5 mg inside the bulb.  And there in lies the problem.  Most people don't know how to do that.  Most municipal transfer stations won't accept them.  It cost money to recycle them, and as of January 2008 it's now against Federal law to put them in the trash.  The CFL became popular before the infrastructure was ready for it.

I blame a lot of this on two entities. The first is Walmart.  I don't know if you remember, but way back in 2007 Walmart had its "Million Bulb Challenge."  They wanted to sell a million bulbs that year; and they did. However, they never told their customers, "You can't throw this away."  They provided no guidance on how to dispose of them nor did they provided any resources for the local communities after their Solid Waste Departments were flooded with these things.  It was (and still is) irresponsible marketing. Next I blame celebrities.  That's a stretch I know, but hear me out.  Every night during prime time TV I would see a beautiful celebrity telling all of North America how they could save the world by buying these bulbs.  Again, no mention that it's toxic, no mention that it can't go in the trash and no guidance on what to do with it after it burned out.

What do we do with them?  If you live in New Hampshire, I'm going to tell you.  You have three options, depending on where you live.  Options 1 & 2 should apply to all states.

1) Maybe your transfer station collects them for recycling.  Call your town or city and ask if the transfer station (or recycling center) accepts fluorescent bulbs.  All fluorescent bulbs (CFLs and tubes) fall into a category called Universal Waste (UW.)

UW is defined as  "A hazardous waste that is generated in such great quantity that no municipality could afford to handle it as hazardous waste."   Because of this, EPA has agreed to loosen the requirements of collecting and storing these waste.  Other types of UW include batteries, automotive waste like oil, transmission fluid and anti-freeze, ballast, and any devices that contain mercury (such as switches, thermostats, bulbs and old thermometers.

2) If your town is slacking in their responsibilities, you might want to take your bulbs to a Household Hazardous Waste Collection (HHW) event.  These events are organized by towns, cities and regional planning commissions.  They receive partial funding from the State of NH but all logistics are handled by the organizer. A list of upcoming HHW events in NH can be found at:
http://des.nh.gov/organization/commissioner/p2au/pps/hhwp/index.htm

3) The last option is to find a take-back program.  This will require you to do a little foot-work but might be worth it in the long run.  Many hardware stores will do a "one for one exchange."  That is, if you buy a new bulb from them they will take your old one and recycle it. You can also call your local Lowe's and Home Depot and ask if they participate in a similar program.  A lot of Ace & True Value stores were running a free take-back program with the assistence of a grant from the NH Dept. of Environmental Services until the funding was cut last week. The money is scheduled to be gone as of June 1, 2011.  Thankfully, a few stores have agree to continue funding the program on their own.

If you think I missed anything or if you have any other questions about fluorescent bulbs please let me know.  If your state has a unique solution that I didn't cover I'd love to hear about it.  Thanks!

Two biggest fascinations have joined forces!!!

The two things in this life that never fail to fascinate me are beautiful food and miniaturization.  

As a child I was always amazed at scaled down models with incredible detail.  When on museum field trips I would head right for the model ship section.  The model of the old pilgrim village at the Boston Museum of Science was one of my favorites. Accuracy was everything.

Later in life I started to discover that food preparation could be an art form.  One of my hobbies is making extreme cakes.  If you need an ambulance, a horse saddle or a GPS unit, I can do it.

I never dreamed that someone would one day bring these two amazing worlds together.  But they have!
http://www.etsy.com/shop/PetitPlat

GIVEAWAY!

Check out Sonya's awesome bracelet give away at: http://fishnetshipchecks.blogspot.com/2011/06/announcement-giveaway.html

Smitten Kill

This is "Smitten the Kitten."  

He is a most excellent hunter of rodents and foul beasts.  He shows up on my front steps with gifts every morning.  Last night he brought me something he's never brought home before...a huge dead rat!

Seeing how we do not have a Chinese restaurant within 20 miles of were we live, I'm more than a little curious about where this thing came from.  Anyone missing a dead rat?  Well, it might not have been dead when you lost it.

Interagency Recycling Committee

I Co-chair my Department's Green Team and today I was asked to sit-in on the State's Interagency Recycling Committee, because the two people who usually do it are on vacation today.  I was notified after the meeting started and therefore walked in 18 minutes late. I announced myself and began flipping through paperwork that was not mine and had no apparent order or continuity whatsoever.  The chairman said, "Oh good, you have hand outs."  I just laughed to myself and said, "No, I don't think so."  Despite being a complete catastrophe,  I still managed to somehow procure $6,000 for a pilot project I just found out about a couple days ago.

Lets get this thing started

To blog or not to blog, that is the question.  I have no idea why I'm here other than the fact that I feel the need to. 

I work as an environmental program coordinator, so that will probably be what most of the content is about.  You'd be surprised at how much environmental work is done from behind desks.  It's a shame really, it keeps us out of touch with the outside. 

I also do a lot of (not as much as I'd like) kayaking and hiking.  I think I can squeeze some of that in here too if I should deem any of it interesting enough to share.

So, what does an environmental program coordinator (EPC) do?  The very job discretion of an EPC varies a lot from person to person.  One might be in charge of  coordinating coastal volunteer efforts while another runs an education facility.  Some work in regulatory at the state or federal level and yet others, like me, get to write environmental grant contracts and do a whole bunch of outreach and education geared toward local municipalities.

If you've ever wondered what boring things go on at the administrative level of an environmental agency; stay tuned.